From whence doth thou travelest to don suffering with acquaintances also bedecked in tight sportswear for difficult endeavoring? Towardeth Jahvahaah Travel.
Why do we travel? For authentic experiences. We travel to better identify with worlds we don’t understand. To put us into contact with people whose lives have developed in different, parallel, and, yes, lesser ways. Sure, these people may know what an iPad looks like, but only from the back. And only while they were screwing it together.
Jahvahaah is proud to offer our first batch of many tours. Let our internationale squad show you authentic cycling in Oregon. An Oregon that very few ever get to see.
Our tour begins at the airport, where you will put your bike together using the same tools that the mechanics in the shops use. Wrenches. Screwdrivers. The one thing with the handle and the piece of chain on it. The little square thing with the hole in it. We have all of that shit. And by starting your trip by pretending to work on things, you’ll ride into Portland besmirched by actual grease. How provincial.
These are stains that will last a lifetime.
Once in Portland, you’ll stay on the finest of couches. Littered with children’s toys and pet hair, the accommodations will force you to tune out distractions. Like a PRO.
Your ride leader will have already removed the majority of the contents of the liquor cabinets, to better replicate the hardscrabble lifestyle of pros from the 1920’s.
When you wake in the morning, your bicycle will be loaded on top of a 1997 Toyota Corolla, which has been carefully littered with authentic moldy bidons and actual punctured tubes dating back at least 4-5 years.
This is where the adventure begins. This is where you pretend to push yourself to 100% of your assumed human limits, unless you get tired, and then we’ll pick you up and go eat some expensive organic gluten free pizza.
- A ride in authentic Pacific Northwest rain.
- A framed 8×10 black and white photo of you with your mouth agape.
- 3 packages of Shotblocks (flavor varies)
- One cup of single origin coffee, and a 10 minute explanation of whether or not you should like it.
- Up to 2 (two) full service flat fixes so that you may keep your Instagrammin’ fingers clean.
- One instagrammed photo of you with your choice of hashtag (#outsideisfree, #adventuremobile, or #campvibes)
Push yourself to 100% of your assumed human limits, unless you get tired, and then we can pick you up and go eat some super expensive organic gluten free pizza.
|Dutch Canyon||April 3||$4,250|
|Palette Factory||May 13||$3,500|
|Bull Run||June 4||$4,500|
|Lolo Pass||July 7||$3,850|
|Sauvie Island||July 20||$1,500|