Royal Tendon Balm Embrocation

Royal Tendon Balm Embrocation

$90 $21

3 in stock

Our custom embrocation is ready. Do you need embrocation? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. Do you want our embrocation? Yes, you do. And trust me, because I’m a doctor. Our embrocation smells of bergamot, which is England-talk for “spicy”, and will give you the power of Castle Earl Greyskull. Plus, Lady Chatterley will want to get all Victorian Spice Channel on your calf parts. Can you put a price on that? Probably. But that price would be in Euros. And every time you pay in Euros the transmission on a Ford Explorer dies. Do you want that on your conscience? No. Do you want our embrocation (and Lady Chatterley) on your calf parts? Obviously. Q.E.D.

From the fine folks at Northwest Knee Warmers, here’s how to apply their embrocation:

The order of things is important here. If you apply your embrocation before you put on your shorts, you will drag the spicy stuff up to your nether-regions, and you will not soon forget the experience! Also, apply your chamois cream first, so as to prevent cross-contamination.

Be sure to clean off your hands after application—if you are in a race parking lot, use baby wipes. Otherwise, you may find yourself in tears at the start line after rubbing your eyes.

Northwest Knee Warmers Embrocation washes off with soap and water. If you’re at a race, baby wipes or a little ethyl alcohol on a dedicated washcloth will do the trick. If you don’t shave, now is the time to consider it because it washes off much more easily (and shines up so much better) with bare legs.

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