Appearing shellshocked while having a good time isn’t easy. It must be taught. But it comes so naturally to us, that we sometimes invite other cycling celebrities to ride with us, just to remind ourselves how awesome we are for being able to pull it off. And to remind them how lucky they are to be invited. And then we sometimes charge them for the honor of having their picture taken by us. These are our Influentsa rides. Riding bikes while looking handsome is fun, but what’s the point if no one tells the millions of cyclists that aspire to be just like us? That’s why our group rides are spectacles. Miserable spectacles.
A lot of people will tell you that the key to looking haggard is the lazy eye, but the details can be lost when we convert the photos to black and white and max out the contrast and simulated film grain. That’s why we always go with the slack jaw.
Also, show some chest. Nothing says exhausted like showing some chest.