We like our rides like we like our fonts. Sans serif. If we have something to say, we will say it in Helvetica overlaid on a picture of us looking off into the distance, pretending that our photographer didn't just say, "Look off into the distance like you're thinking deeply about something!"
We look special, but we're just like you. A couple of cyclists who ride around with a professional stenographer in tow. And just like you, we want something for nothing. So if you're a "sponsor," we'll pretend we just discovered your product and love it. Hard and in public.
If you're tired of having sex with people you should join my fictive trivia group, Gerard Jeopardudes. @KenJennings